一个想法突然出现在你的脑海中。为别人做一件好事是一种意想不到的，甚至是一种奢侈的冲动——也许是你不认识的人。
We’ve all had that sort of idea. But how many of us actually act on it? After all, it usually comes at a bad time. Or it seems like it would cost too much. Or we fear it wouldn’t be welcomed.
Andrea Theis had a thought. It was a bold thought. It was an expensive thought. But above all, it was a kind thought.
这是一个关于当一个人在一群乳腺癌幸存者中按照一个想法行动时，生活和未来如何改变的故事。
Last-minute decision to attend
Theis had trouble making up her mind whether she wanted to attend last year’s Revive Retreat, which is hosted annually by2022世界杯巴西阵容in several locations.
她相信自己会玩得很开心。2017年，也就是她结束乳腺癌治疗的一年后，她很喜欢在南达科他州苏福尔斯的休养所。节目的亮点包括聆听乳腺癌护理的进步和其他幸存者的故事。她还喜欢和苏福尔斯护理团队里的人聊天。
但2018年的收获季节给当地农民带来了挑战。其中包括她住在爱荷华州霍斯附近的家人，以及她在马路对面工作的农民。这不是整个工作日休息的最佳时间。尽管如此，她还是等到最后一分钟，然后决定无论如何都要去。
“Everyone in the room has experienced what you have. So it’s just a good feeling to hear other people’s story and what’s going on in their life and where they’re at with it all now,” she said.
Theis had never heard of the keynote speaker,Nicole J. Phillips, before. She had never read the “Kindness Is Contagious” columns by Phillips that appear in newspapers in North Dakota and Minnesota, or looked for blogs or podcasts on her website. She didn’t know Phillips had published two books compiling stories of kindness, “Kindness Is Contagious” and “Kindness Is Courageous.” And she didn’t know about Phillips’ mission to encourage people to embrace the power of kindness, although she, in fact, shared a similar philosophy.
In short, Theis was pretty much like the other 99 breast cancer survivors settling in to hear Phillips to speak.
‘I gotta do this’
当菲利普斯那天下午登台时，泰斯注意到了。泰斯说:“她一下子就把我震住了。”
First, Phillips offered her coat to anyone in the audience who might feel chilly in the venue.
“I’m like, ‘Is this woman for real?’ I mean, who gets up on stage and offers a coat?” Theis said.
Theis’ admiration grew. “She’s a beautiful woman, and she had this confidence. And then she stands there and says, ‘I’m a breast cancer survivor, too.’ And you’re looking at her going, I want to be like that. I want to get to that point where I can stand in front of a whole group and just have that confidence.”
当菲利普斯谈到将善意作为她治疗的一部分时，泰斯可能会感同身受。Theis had gone throughchemotherapy,surgery,radiationandreconstructionduring her long breast cancer journey. “There were times when I was laying on the couch from having chemo, and it was just like, get up and go do something nice for somebody. Instead of laying here, feeling miserable, get up and go do it.”
泰斯听着菲利普斯在她的书中讲述善良的例子。然后泰斯有了她的想法——或者用她的话说，是“来自圣灵的助推”。
She didn’t ignore it. She didn’t hesitate, weighing whether it was practical, nor did she scale it down. Instead, she did something most individuals wouldn’t even consider — for an audience of 100 breast cancer survivors plus 25 or so medical professionals.
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“突然之间，我发现自己站了起来，我想，我要去给每个人买一本书，”泰斯说。“他们只是需要这本书。这是可怕的。如果每个人都能感受到这种兴奋感，我就得这么做。”
‘Circle of love’ before speech
Phillips, meanwhile, had taken the stage feeling more emotional that day than she did for most of the three dozen speeches she gave last year.
菲利普斯今年夏天搬到了南达科他州的阿伯丁，去年她还住在俄亥俄州，当时她去了苏福尔斯，在那之前她去了北达科他州法戈的复兴别墅。
Before it was Phillips’ turn to speak, part of the program had involved a thank you to all of the medical staff involved in caring for breast cancer patients.
“There were a lot of references to the health care workers that were there and how giving they were for their patients and what friendships they had with their patients. And I remember that from my own experience,” Phillips said.
“I just felt really touched that — from both the providers’ standpoint and the patients’ standpoint — there was this kind of circle of love. And so that was really on my heart when I started speaking.”
”她微笑。她的眼睛在发光。”
Phillips’ breast cancer was discovered on the day she turned 40, when she had a mammogram. She had a mastectomy and reconstruction surgery.
But Phillips has turned her experience into something positive for other breast cancer survivors. In speaking engagements where they make up the audience, she tries to help shift their thinking from the bad things that are happening to gratitude and positivity.
“I also talk a lot about thoughts and the power of thoughts and how to retrain our thoughts so that we can live more kind lives and more joyful lives,” she said.
Phillips likes writing newspaper columns, but her true joy lies in speaking. “To be able to look in people’s eyes as I’m trying to communicate a thought or a message and see it click is just the best feeling ever,” she said.
Phillips first noticed that about Theis as she spoke that day.
“There was something about her eyes that were just locked on mine,” Phillips said. “Sometimes, you can look at a crowd of people, and you can find several people that are getting it. You just know when you look at them that they were hungry for this message and that they’re getting it, and Andrea was one of those people. She was smiley. Her eyes were shining. And I remembered her.”
The fact that Theis stood up and walked out during the speech didn’t faze Phillips. People do that for a variety of reasons — to use the bathroom, or if they have to leave early. However, Phillips didn’t realize that this particular “once-in-a-lifetime” reason would be revealed on stage after she had finished her speech.
意想不到的公告
When Theis walked to the back during Phillips’ speech, she headed over to the event’s master of ceremonies,Jesse Dirksen她也是泰斯的乳房外科医生。她告诉他她的想法:她想给那里的每个人买一本菲利普斯的书《善良是会传染的》。
泰斯回忆说，德克森反复检查了好几次，以确定她真的想这么做。“是的，我很确定，”她坚持说。
So when Dr. Dirksen took the stage again after Phillips had finished her speech, Theis thought he would just announce that everybody would get a free book that day. Instead, he said Theis had something to share.
“I didn’t want to tell everybody,” she said. “I didn’t even care if people didn’t know who it was, just that they were going to leave with a book. So he takes me up on stage and everything, and it’s like, ‘Oh, crap.’ ”
But she made it through the announcement that she wanted to buy a book for everyone. And then the event became something even the best event planners don’t plan for. Something even the most prepared speakers wouldn’t anticipate.
‘Everybody stood up and cheered’
Nearly a year afterward, remembering how the room felt after the announcement of this act of generosity and kindness still has the power to move two people who help organize the Sanford Health event each year.
Laurie Kruse, nursing manager of the breast imaging department atEdith Sanford Breast Center, handled detail upon detail, including the schedule, of the retreat. Things had gone well up to this point that day. So when Phillips’ speech ended, Kruse thought all that remained of the event were the conclusion and door prizes.
然后是泰斯的宣告。
“Everybody just paused,” Kruse remembered.
Gloria Top, who had developed a bond with Theis as her breast cancer navigator at Sanford Health, helps Kruse with the retreats. “The way I describe it is, ‘God showed up.’ And it was just so moving.”
克鲁斯说:“作为一个群体，我们也感觉到了这种联系。”“然后所有人都站起来欢呼，观众中有泪水。”
“我们现在还能感觉到，”她补充说。“当我们谈论这件事的时候，我只是情绪激动。”
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‘Took my breath absolutely away’
泰斯说:“我想当时在场的人都惊呆了，因为(菲利普斯)站在那里谈论善良，然后就发生了这种事。我不是因为这个才这么做的。但是在那之后，我想在那之后和我聊天的人可能比去找妮可聊天的人要多，他们抱着我哭。很多人都分享了。”
Phillips, meanwhile, hadn’t quite realized at first what was going on. In her flurry of activity after a speech, she hadn’t caught everything Dr. Dirksen had said. It also wouldn’t be unheard of for a business to buy copies of her book for speech attendees.
“But to find out that it was actually someone who was in the audience who had been touched by breast cancer who was going to do this great act of kindness, this amazing act of generosity, that just took my breath absolutely away,” Phillips said.
然后她和她的队友就忙得不可开交了。首先，菲利普斯没有预料到人群中的每个人都想要一本她的书。她没带那么多东西。那天有些人已经付了钱，所以她开始退钱。
菲利普斯说:“在那一秒钟，它变成了大规模的混乱。”
Kruse, too, suddenly became busier, and not just for that day. Those leaving the retreat without a copy eventually would be able to pick up theirs at the Edith Sanford Breast Center, so she worked with Phillips and Theis on arranging orders and payment.
Two ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ compliments
Phillips couldn’t picture anything like this happening again in her career as a speaker. “That’s a once-in-a-lifetime compliment. Because how often does someone so believe in the power of your message that they want to make sure everyone can take a piece of it home with them?”
但后来她得到了泰斯的终身第二称赞。
菲利普斯说:“她回到家，开始阅读，然后她说，等一下，我们需要每个人都有另一本书。”
What kind of person commits one extravagant act of kindness — and then later, when others might feel twinges of regret, doubles down instead?
菲利普斯的整个职业生涯都专注于善良，但这让她感到惊讶。“我对安德里亚很困惑，我记得我问过她妈妈，她是否倾向于做大善事?她一直都很善良吗，还是这是怎么回事?她妈妈说，她一直都很善良，但自从患了乳腺癌后，她确实变得更好了。”
After crisis, ‘so grateful that you look at life differently’
托普在她作为一名领航员的工作中，以及在她自己的生活中，都看到了这种变化。Top在2005年被诊断出患有乳腺癌，当时她正在其他地方工作。但三年后，她觉得有必要转而成为桑福德健康公司(Sanford Health)的一名乳腺癌领航员。2022世界杯巴西阵容“我真的觉得有必要帮助其他患乳腺癌的女性，”她说。
因此，托普认为菲利普斯的信息对乳腺癌幸存者来说是理想的。
“当你经历了生活中的危机，你到达了另一边，你会很感激，因为你用不同的眼光看待生活。你的优先级是不同的。你只是想把它传递出去。”
Top and her co-workers experienced Theis’ gratitude during her treatments, too, through the cards and notes she would give them.
After Theis bought books for the entire audience, it became her turn to receive cards and letters of appreciation. “That was so nice. I felt so special.”
这进一步印证了菲利普斯的观点:“善良是三连冠。”它不仅有利于接受者，也有利于给予者和其他证人。
So, if the story ended here, Theis’ action would certainly stand well on its own as an inspiring and imaginative example of what kindness can look like.
But more was to unfold in the months following the retreat, culminating this past August when Theis and Phillips met in person for the second time. On that day, Phillips would be the one to surprise Theis.
‘On the edge of an alcoholic’
After the retreat, Theis stayed in contact with a member of Phillips’ three-person team to work out payment and book delivery details.
但泰斯也给菲利普斯发了一条脸书信息，内容是她演讲中让她印象深刻的东西。
虽然这两位女性都曾患过乳腺癌，但她们还有其他共同点。
菲利普斯在演讲中提到了自己与酒精的斗争，她用了一个词引起了泰斯的注意，因为她觉得这个词也描述了她:“处于酗酒的边缘”。
“That softens it a little bit, I think,” Phillips said later about herself. “I would say that it’s fair to say that I was definitely an alcoholic; I was a daily drinker. I could not ever imagine life in which I wouldn’t drink.”
她曾试图戒烟。她曾试图减少饮酒，向自己保证只喝葡萄酒，或者只在晚上8点以后喝。毫无效果。
Her lowest point came after a night in a bar where she had publicly embarrassed her husband, and he had calmly requested an apology the next day.
“I remember laying in my bed in the fetal position and begging God to take away the feeling — not just of the physical feeling of sickness but also the shame that I was feeling,” Phillips said. “And I remember hearing God say, ‘Nic, I want to use you, but I can’t use you if I can’t trust you, and I can’t trust you when you drink.’
“It was absolutely an epiphany. I wasn’t used to hearing from God. … So in that moment, I was like, ‘OK, God, I’m done. I’m done. Help me be done.’ And I have never taken another drink since.”
Both women fought Theis’ battle
When Theis reached out on Facebook, she told Phillips that she felt the need to stop drinking, too. Theis didn’t expect a reply; she just wanted to tell Phillips how that part of the speech had affected her. But Phillips responded back that she would pray for Theis.
Phillips, though, found her life affected far more than if she could have just said a simple prayer and moved on. During the next couple of months, she thought a lot about Theis’ battle with alcohol — more than Theis knew.
“As she stopped drinking, drinking became really acute in my brain,” Phillips said.
“I’d have dreams that I started drinking again, and they were terrible. They were like nightmares, and so I was kind of battling this with her from afar.
“That’s what it felt like, is that I was feeling maybe a little bit of what she was feeling — how difficult it would be to let go of that habit.”
Staying in touch
Meanwhile, every month, Theis chooses three different people to pray for. And for November 2018, Theis told Phillips she would be one of those three.
但11月之后，泰斯应该祈祷的感觉并没有离开她。月复一月，她让团队知道她在为他们祈祷。
Theis’ earnestness touched Phillips. “She was a prayer warrior. She was going to battle for my team in ways that I couldn’t imagine, and that has increased my faith. It’s a gift that she has given me that I don’t know how to say thank you for.”
During this time, Theis also reached out to Phillips if she found herself in a “sticky situation” with alcohol — and she still does — feeling accountable to Phillips, knowing she has Phillips’ full support.
Then a couple of months ago, when Phillips planned to speak at the Okoboji Bible Conference at Arnolds Park, Iowa, Theis offered to help out with the Kindness team’s merchandise table.
‘Would you share your heart with us?’
Before Phillips’ speech at the conference, another member of her team handed Phillips a lanyard for Theis to wear while she helped sell books.
看到泰斯的名字出现在挂绳上对菲利普斯来说至关重要。菲利普斯说:“在这一刻，我毫无疑问地知道，我应该邀请泰斯成为球队的一员。”
She needed to take the stage in about 45 minutes. She quickly called to consult other team members about inviting Theis to take a position on the Kindness team. Backed by unanimous, enthusiastic approval, Phillips asked Theis to join it just before she spoke.
After their journey since last October, it meant a lot to Phillips that the next time she saw Theis face to face, she could say to her, “Hey, you’re just too special to not be on this team. Would you share your heart with us?”
泰斯当然答应了。“我被震撼了。我哭了，”泰斯说。“现在才开始意识到这是真的。我是善良队的。10个月前，我甚至不知道她的存在，而今天，我是她的一员。”
细节正在制定中。但泰斯的头衔是“终极沟通者”，这暗示着她既会与那些向菲利普斯讲述故事和问题的人交谈，也会正式成为团队的祈祷勇士。
‘You start getting this high’ from being kind
泰斯完全相信这一使命，即传播善良可以带来改变的理念——她每天都在践行这一理念。
She had acted on urges before last year’s lavish action, although in less significant ways than buying an entire conference of people two books each. But now she and her husband and children constantly, intentionally seek out ways to do something for someone else.
她列出了为他人做好事的几种方法:为下一个人开门、花时间倾听、买咖啡、为食品杂货付款或在餐馆吃饭。
“When you see the people smiling,” Theis said, “then it makes you start getting this high from doing these things, and it’s like, ‘Who’s my next one? Where can I go?’ ”
Phillips points to Theis’ action at the conference as an example of how to be intentionally kind.
“Andrea just listened,” Phillips said. “Life becomes so fun and so purposeful and so joyful when we listen to that voice inside of us that tells us to do something kind for someone.”
事实上，我们大多数人都不像泰斯。很多时候，我们忽略了内心的声音，或者因为太忙而没有去倾听内心的声音。
但如果我们倾听，即使只是偶尔倾听，想象一下它会给别人的生活带来多大的改变。
Imagine what a difference it could make in our own.
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这是由桑福德健康中心为乳腺癌幸存者举办的2022世界杯巴西阵容活动。
Fargo, North Dakota:每年10月在北达科他州的俾斯麦和法戈以及南达科他州的苏福尔斯。
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